diary entry ( pls shut th gate )
***
ryan didnt shut th gate
i got a rev
<<< smile >>>
***
drained th bath this morning
and flushed th toilet
oh dear
downstairs toilet backed up
and th entire contents of th bath
went thru th kitchen floor
not impressed jan
was a quick four buckets of mopped water
ya cant get it all
gone into th walls
still dribbling out
had to be down th road
at a certain time
if ya dig it
nearly made it but
***
it's still ****in hot
just th way i like it but
where i been all day
bit hotter still
***
it was a steep anzac tile roof
tiny little tiles and
they're always sandy
when ya wash em with high pressure
took th whole of th first face
till i relaxed
was a bit unsure of that edge
only a twenty foot drop
so no biggie
but i been away for a while
and not as practised
came up nice though
just had to patch a million and one holes
old concrete tiles
rocks bail out of th matrix
didnt break any
so they're tough little ****ers
it's all good
***
"singin this weekend ?"
no babe
dont think so
sung this month
***
time for some drugs
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
yuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmie
like nicole kidman on her knees
"scrubbing"
***
yur in form today
"i let down"
***
im afraid to ask
so i wont bother
***
"just as well"
"just let me take her dancing"
***
you'll get laid
"so"
***
it's my body
"i'll look after it"
never have in th past
why should ya now ?
"if i make it hurt"
"i'll give it lots of drugs ok"
promises
promises
***
stupid girl in my head
***
"i'm a writing device"
yur a ****stick
***
go out dancin with girls
and not get laid
and declare a good time
"i was stoned ok"
"and id **** that other one at th end of th night"
"she'd wait up for me"
you wont get another one as well trained as her
i'll lay ya money
five am
shower off th facepaint
root till yur silly
and sleep till lunchtime
"and then most likely root again"
"nice *** drive in that woman"
"she wants to hookup for a coffee and whatever"
"We could afford to go to th edge of th island to see her this
weekend"
"Workin on th side"
ssshhhh
"it's only th net"
like any of this is real right ?
"yeah"
"something like that"
"sure as **** aint under oath"
she might be in another state
down seein her current flame
"might not be either"
"besides i drink with her female friends"
"know where to go knockin"
you wouldnt
"while th cat's away"
"jennie will **** ..."
"and if i fail miserably"
"We can go hit up womble and do some cones"
"maybe even sing with him"
"been a while"
rather do that than chase women
"wanna make yur ten months"
yeah
"<<< smile >>>"
"we'll see"
***
"both yur exgirlfriends"
"that you dropped together"
"Are both talkin to ya again"
"you can pretty well"
"pick up th pieces wth a couple of time changes"
been there
done that
"jane sounds a lot more amenable"
"you really wanna go train a new one ?"
"they learn terribly slow"
oh you are havin a day
ummm
you've changed yur mind
i thought you were lusting after th cute 21 yr old
with th black hair
"i got a thing about older women"
crap
"if i was lusting after her"
"wouldnt i have called her ?"
you want another girl ?
who's breakup is so fresh
she's still talkin about her ex
"she wont stay on th shelf"
well
how much freedom would i have with er ?
"precious little"
and if i picked up my exes ?
"as much as ya like"
hmmm
***
"jane's still on, she was never off"
"same for morticia"
"you know how she is when ya ring er"
"we play it by ear for a bit"
"we arent in a hurry"
"they're both pretty understanding girls"
who wont talk to each other
"maybe that's a good thing"
***
"three nights with jane"
"a couple of days free"
"then a couple of days with morticia"
"it was nice"
was gunna have a ***change
kinda ****ed things
"i changed my mind"
"my perogative"
"i can cope with my girlfriends paulie"
"it's kinda normal"
***
what about lee ?
"when she rings me and tells me she can **** me"
<<< smile >>>
you still love er
"Stop chuckin women at me lee"
"want you , not a substitute"
"thankful but"
"i like ****ing top shelf"
***
i know one chick who's absent
"she'll just sit there"
"till ya ask for something"
"every chick i go out with"
"thinks im ****in ya"
"funny"
***
"what colour hair has purple got ?"
black
"keen photographer"
"taken most of the land surfer dude pics"
yeah
"ex girlfriend"
yeah
"woudnt take ****ie pics"
"even though she and morticia wanted em"
married with children
"hmmm"
"and morticia wont even hold a camera"
"scared ****less of em paulie"
"how many cameras we face in a week ?"
depends on where we ride th unicycle
"on th beach"
lots there
"they dig that unicyclin in th surf"
"Different"
surfin
"morticia liked bein th stay at home girlfriend"
"we took bree and lee out in public"
"they dont mind cameras"
yeah
but they both preferred th dancefloor
"i'm in two minds"
tell me about it
***
"magic"
it's what it's about
they're witches dear
and i know witches
"hi wiz"
how ya goin ?
"pretty good"
"knee deep in pussie at th moment"
some things never change
"can i get some advice ?"
let it be
just
let it happen
it's almost always amazing
weren;t ya wearin th same clothes
as th pretty chick ya wanted to see
last friday night ?
"yep"
see
amazing
***
ripped janes and a black top
***
sorry
ripped jeans and a black top
***
jane likes to get ripped
***
morticia likes wine
chardonnay
sorry
***
both yuppies
***
sittin with morticia
in th elephant rock cafe
overlooking th sea
havin breakfast
on a sunday morning
tofu
the day before
24 hours before
havin a burger
in a hick country town
with a bunch of hippies
***
jane's like a hippie yuppie
if there was such a thing
versace lady
lots of style
***
morticia's
more your
grab th best body you can find
and sit with it in a cafe
while sippin chardies
kind of yuppie
***
i remember her goin out with me
and that bicycle racer at th same time
and th looks id get
me being th unicycle man
makes ya pretty fit
good for ya
+++
just mulling things over
whie consuming some mull
crap really
***
what do i want ?
i dont ****ing know
***
ah good
we have progress
***
"pretty goth girl would fit right into that company"
"she carries it with style"
lickarse
***
why does morticia keep ****in ya ?
***
"i aint goin there but it's different to jane"
***
one and th same thing if ya ask me
***
<<< smile >>>
there are no diary entrys on th net for that period
im sorry
went private to do some dirty work
that ****tion of th diary
is secret
and someone i know has been awful unwell
***
one of th perks of bein a kadeetcha man
if ya dont like someone
ya just point th bone at em
if ya dont like em enough
they drop dead about seven days later
which is ****in cool
***
they dont need to know about it
like they taught us in white australian school
they just drop dead
****
hell of a thing
***
hey mr skase ?
***
i havent screwed th head witch of th gold coast for a while
"you havent appointed one for brisbane wiz"
***
i outrank th *****
***
"be nice"
***
i'm th local wizard
i *** when i pls
***
generally th wizard wherever i am
hi
im th local wizard
dont find too much competition
***
now
if this is a fair race
i get to kick you in th nuts before we start
are ya ready ?
***
what do oyu know about wizard's curses then ?
you dont get
BIG
magic
without a
BIG
curse
sore nuts
every day
goin on thirty two years
***
cant abide women
***
but i love them
***
litle pot
half hour on th unicycle
nuts are comfortably numb
ok
i'll speak to you now
***
cant be something im not
good at pretending i am
but im not
***
about as close as you can get to animal
sit with a woman
th testicles start to ache
dont need a hardon
to start achin
you put me in a room
with 350 ****ing women
all tryin to sell somethin
without drugs
for nine hours
i wont forget you in a hurry
***
"let a couple girls off th hook"
"couldnt be ****y at em any more"
"a boy done hurt him worse"
***
'i was honest with that boy"
"he;s got testicles"
"dont let me bump into you"
"im not as nice as paulie"
***
a woman you can forgive
they tease without thinking
even when they promise they wont
ingrained
but a boy
who i confide in
i dont forgive
you;ve got nuts
you know what sore nuts feel like
and if yur one of my long term mates
you;ve seen me go grey
cause of some
out there chick i was playin with
gotta risk
may as well stick a needle in my arm right now otherwise
and big smack overdose
if i bump into you again
im gunna make ya feel like paulie
on a real bad day
but i think you'll just be screaming
i bear a grudge
i reserve that right
you too ****ing greedy for my liking
***
not one of my tribe
***
"you are banished"
***
i might even talk to lee again
man
i'm used to women hurting me
it's par for th course
and generally
more pain than less
but ya still fall in love
cause ya know ya cant tear yurself away
when th *** dies
so
we both get hurt
pull apart and
get back together again
for some more good ***
hey im a wizard
course it;s good
ya dont find five exgirlfriends
sittin at th pub
together
alone
talkin about ya
otherwise
ah girl
you musta had a shock
i really didnt prepare ya for that
but
you were so ****in cocky lesbian bouncer chick
and was gunna take my ego down a peg or two
like so many others before and since
and boy did i laugh
im a wizard
they were all talkin ***
and most of em
i had more than one relation****p with
some them
at th same time
but always
with everyone at th table knowin
dropped you right in it
ya still married me
shoudlnt have taken me to live in th bush though
th *** was good
**** it was good
but like every girl
before
and since
it pegs out
for what it;s worth
they all laughed at ya
and shook their heads
and um
they all knew about th blood money
you didnt
they all knew how i felt
called some of em by boys names on occasion
was a sign of respect in our world
at th farm
lot you dont know muz
cause ya werent there
***
they wouldnt let me give it away
kids for th most part
but
cmon paulie
you folks dont know how it burned
mother dead in a
double murder suicide
me th only living survivor
at th scene
you dont know
***
blood and brains money
my parents estate
yur welcome to it
***
it's deadly money
th last of it
got taken by a bank
a week before th twin trade towers fell to th ground
made me a bit cut
bastard banks
****in thieves
yeah
that is a big profit for th year
where did it come from ?
and where is it going ?
oh
new york
massive payment during th week
from th NAB
national australia bank
nabbed it alright
took th remainder
and they made this big payment
to new york
durin th week
sittin watchin television
while readin
voracious reader
when im not voracious writing
readin tom wolfe
"the right stuff"
what's it like
to die
in burning avaiation fuel
my brother yellling from th other bedroom
turn yur telly on
plane just flew in to the world trade tower
hmmm
i'll just be over here
i didnt do anything man
honest
but just in case
sorry
***
seen that money
do some some wicked ****
either way
it's a weird tale
***
th nab got it
**** hey
***
i was hopin it would be that *****
ah well
***
musta loved ya after all
***
that was my share
when little brother goes belly up
im goin to sit on a mountain somewhere
for about a month
his magic is about as wicked as mine
but umm
im content to watch
with a bit of luck
and hey
i got that
should see what i used to do to th cleo
machine at th casino for jane
she wont pay out for er now
jane cant make er ***
i can
i'll be sitiin there with a big fat joint
a bourbon
and one of my girlfriends
"maybe two"
havin a good laugh
hey
where's yur sense of humour ?
with a bit of luck ya dont live in brisbane
last time i asked a loaded question off god
<<<smile>>>
we got th worst week of weather in white man's history
our worst weather week
made th papers
**** it was stormy
and somewhere
there's a guy with a video recording
of his mate dressed as jesus in th street
on th seventh day
after six days of rain and violent storms
with this jesus shakin my hand
in th street
i'll watch that video one day
if th ****er didnt wipe it
i was sittin and signin
in th street
with my mate dom
i dont do it for money
dont do it for profit
on edward st corner
my tricks are amazing
but ya have to do a little searchin
to grab all th facts
i dont give a ****
do or ya dont
i'm th wizard
<<< smile >>>
i always know what to say and when to say it
to suit me
***
run george
***
george running
***
put watcher program on standby
reboot
..
..
..
'hi paulie"
seen you popping in
'selena's anitvirus guard is pretty goood"
***
[deleted]
very
***
things to destroy in th kitchen
play amongst yursleves
..
..
..
..
..
***
bloody government departments
i'm a client of theirs
and they got my name wrong
and my address
***
"am i a gender illusionist ?"
not lately
***
"am i a rock in th bottom of th shower ?"
now there's a go
***
my toenails are sore
more drugs over here
***
what's this big gaping vagina doing here ?
"wet big gaping vagina paulie"
sorry
***
dunno what th ****in world's comin to
***
siddown in front
***
tryin to watch this crap
***
alright
who stole th hash pipe ?
mungrel
put it back where i left it i see
cunning ploy
***
now where did it go ?
***
"he say what he was going to do with those pics ?"
no
"so if i'm surfing my unicycle"
"and catchin waves in th surf"
"and he takes a photo"
"it can make him"
it's th way it works
"somethin wrong with that"
***
so how often do ya se me put myself in that position these days ?
"i get it"
***
you got nuts homer
***
where th **** am i ?
hang on a sec
**** it's hot
***
****s me
***
what fell out of my head today
***
"bony little girl arms"
"yur such a ***** rove"
***
omigod
i saw delta
on telly
**** no
+++
you dont have rights to my image
as an aboriginal elder
***
mungrels
***
done again
***
oh yeah
get a big black dog up ya
..
..
..
blk
***
p.s.
dont wee on th cat
he doesnt like it
