pu****ng trolleys ( with a unicycle of course )
***
lost th lot
what a pisser
oooh karen
arent you ****in magic ?
chief picture taker
sorry
yur fired
my ****in computer
turned itself off
and logged me out
you cow
just about to write
yur fired
and yur th mad techno geek
and yur head hasnt showed
***
i love you kuta lady
***
pretty goth girl
ripped jeans and a black top
magic girl
i like it very much
***
fetching
***
serenity
she of th serene
***
"watch it"
"she bites"
i've seen her take a boy down
***
it's not that she's prettier
she's just more available
we both do odd hours
***
"pooh rang this afternoon"
"deano busted another crank"
cause he's 84 kilos
here come th bad news
***
yur gunna bust things
but you;ll make nice toys
my little brother got th same problem
was walkin thru waves
we were swimmin thru
and dude
th tsunami frisbee
we threw out
and gave to you folk
before xmas
yeah
that was pretty funny
***
i'll take you as an appprentice
a masters apprentice
we need to do workshop
mark can go chase girls for a while
we'll let em come to us
we're lazier
***
he'll learn
th boys grandfather is smilin anyway
***
he's gunna break some hearts
bless his soul
***
dont think of it as work
young man
think of it as
gym
this is a good
high repetition
low impact
workout
good for a fooballer
we were chuckin pavin tiles
lots of paving tiles
and teachin th boy
how to pass
i used to b a five eight
sometimes it shows
cant catch little balls
i like things spinnin
truck boss for eighteen years
yu chuck that thing th wrong way again
and slow down our production
and it;s gunna ****in boomerang
i got time constraints
i got no constraints
to throw one of these ****ers back at you
consistant
dont give a **** how you throw it
just always do it th same way
dont keep changing
we all know how you throw
they dont
be individual
but always be th same
ya understand ?
we'll try mate
why have i gotta sit in th sin bin ?
he threw th first punch
***
bastards
***
put me in a white boys poofta school
where they played
****in cricket
did things to my brain man
just
when i hooked up with with my buds
late teens and
all doin each others women
i was still complainin
i cant catch their little ****in balls
not unless im sittin in front of
jennifer
jade's girlfriend that is
and
i think
pretty goth girl
serenity
E.R.
hmmm
/*//
more drugs ove rhere
music back on
***
golden earring
"radarlove"
***
<<< smile >>>
karen
***
libby
***
morticia
***
bree
***
<<< smile >>>
***
[deleted]
it's a cousin of mine
wizard just blew into town
***
im not going to th art show
i've got a date
and i wouldnt charge ya to come to one of my gigs
***
unless pretty goth girl
snavells me into it
i do have one of yur paintings
hangin outside my wall
lvoe yur abstract art
never liked payin for it
i give too much of mine away
different thinkin
***
cousins
a film editor
<<< Smile >>>
wake up susie
***
it was steep enough
but not firm enough
for somersaults
but i got a good launch
and so did th young fella
for a boy who aint practising
he can still ride th wheel
straight into th waves
ah me
love you
family
***
boy did i get a dirty look
she can be painful
i'm not lyin
so can i
***
if i bring
pretty goth girl
you will **** bricks
her eyes opened wide
<<< smile >>>
***
"we got a lunchtime date"
"bbq but you wanna be spontaneous"
"it;'s a date"
"let's have fun"
"i'll do th food"
***
pj harvey
"07 down by the water"
***
can we do it spontaneous ?
not plan it
just
we hookup at
mid day
and go from there
***
old habits die hard
***
"She's gunna stay femal freiend isnt she ?"
i'm her female friend
"okm i'll have to **** th pretty girl then"
all pretty babe
non stop compliments
if she aint smilin when th date's finished
we ****ed up
she knows our creed
they're all dates
and i want all of em to be good
not gettin laid
is not cause to spoil a good date
just make it a bit shorter
that's all
***
the red hot chilli peppers
"under th ebridge"
***
no versace lady
i screwed ya on top of th e bridge
down new farm way
not long after it opened
and it was ****in hot
***
it ws red hot
put on a nice performance
***
do i really wanna duck this
aboriginal elder thing
by dyin my hair
back to black
drop ten years
and twenty years on th girl on my arm
and
come out to play
actually
it wont be my decision
it rarely is
my women fight
'drew some blood"
they must like me i guess
though mostly they hate me
ok babe
*** at me one more time
be serious about it this time
or i'll tell ya
ya little sister has a tighter arse than you do
***
presidents of th untied states of america
"back ****ch"
***
thanks windows
***
if it aint match maked
it wont happen
that;s how jane got round it
**** did she wriggle
all th girls just smiled
specially karen
ah another new one
i'll read th tales
till she finds
she cant **** every day anymore
and paulie's off doin somethin else
lookin for th next one
and you wont share him
first time out
hmmm
karen
get off my back
something for kate
(millions miles an hour)
let go sweetie
to be th head wife
ya gotta be th first one in th bed
still be welcome
always and forever more
we understand magic
and it's attraction
and th union of souls in th us
and how to prise th future out of my head
***
massive attack
"protection"
***
hmmm
***
protection jennifer
"no ****ing way"
"i havent screwed one in nine months"
"might still make th ten months"
"but th all is laughing at me"
"i wont look at th date"
"of th last time i got laid"
"it;s in my diary"
"i havent had a call"
"from either of my last ***ual partners"
"screamin at me"
"never have"
"and both of those girls were screwin around"
"while both ****in me"
"she can try to prise one of those white boys condoms on me"
"wrong colour dick sweetie"
"read th label"
"just roll back up and"
"jump onto th ground in disgust"
..
..
..
"black magic man"
***
p.s.
kuta lady used to sit
and we'd blow cones
smokin pot sorry
forgot you werent like us
cant speak our language
i try to remember
blowin cones while i had a bath
th girl next door
starin at my dick
i dont play with th girl next door
one of those broke my heart
***
so yur into chicks ?
you want a chick ?
stop thinkin about it
let it happen
be mellow
be yurself
just dont think about it
tenacious d
"lee"
"you'll pop up"
"always do"
i was writin to jennifer
and made her nineteen and sassy
when ya knocked on my door
and said
hey paulie
drive me to go see this chick called jennifer
eighteen
nearly nineteen
nineteen when she walked all over th xf ****in bonnet
***
i know yur ****y at me
i need a regular girlfriend
b well laid
to visit you
the red hot chillie peppers
"road trippin"
***
diary at large
gone to th pub
..
..
..
..
...
..
...
***
got a date with pooh
within th hour
its now sunday lunchtime
***
not askin pretty goth girl to th
art exhibition
"**** th aunt"
***
i found ellen
and her violin
outsideth casino
last night
stayed for a brief sing
damn her voice is good
told her those boys were insane
and they are
so much class
and style
ellen tryin to remember what word that guy used for his compliment
he's right though ellen
those stupid boys
***
had some incredible slides on th unicycle in town
***
then wandered down th fortitude valley
and sang and drummed with mika
till dawn
big samoan guy
lovely
***
i was in originals all night
kept me hassle free
no boys or girls
dirty boy in th street
got an out there comment about my drumming
was still unsure if i was nailing th beat
never overconfident on th drum
hit it hard all th same
and a couple of out there
comments on th singing
"dont lose this guy"
i like that
***
got a gazillion
out ther
eunicycle comments
but th girls in th bus stops
went off
nice group
***
excellent slides
***
last session with mika
i put a ****rt back on
a red t
still no shoes and
still in ripped dirty jeans
found some beautiful notes
in th background
mika was like
this one time
you know this song paulie ?
no man
just pickin out th melody
cause i had it
you know
it was hot
best compliment of th night
thanks ya big black fella
mika's cousin
was takin turns on th axe
and on th drum
i'd leave off singin for a bit
and hit beats
i dont know about next week mika
tryin to cut down
***
soft cell
"Tainted love"
***
"mika talkin about addin a mike for yurs truly"
th crowd dont get th
soft passages
mika does
and they're necessary
they're my bridges
"losin repertoire"
somethn like that
have to push up to
th amplififed sound
did that though
***
some lovely comments
***
and no-one played with my body
***
"maybe needed that"
***
cat stevens
"but i might die tonight"
***
have to kick out soon
dont wanna be late
***
"th shark fin wizard hat was in th street"
yeah
well he might not be there next week
i only come round once a month
***
johhno
mad yank
wandered thru
but i couldnt find where he settled
***
not so many buskers out
bradley came thru
handed me some hot chips
thanks dude
and brookie
was his usual
ebbulient self
[deleted]
yeah
[deleted]
***
mika and i had a few
moments
where it really clicked
more than a few
specially with his cous
on th drum
we took some of th crowd for a fly
some more successfully than others
it's all good
this one
flamenco
w/ acapella
type piece
we were ****in around with
got up and walked
actually it ran
took off with us
and took twenty ppl dancing with it
i was on th drum at th time
tryin not to slide off th beat
while singin at full voice
****ed man
really hard
hittin hard
a
nd belting out
some sliding vocal
and tryin to find
where th guitar's goin
thanks for th fly mika
i loved it
sang till dawn
<<< smile >>>
***
you started dancin with a chick again
"i did"
man
***
..
..
..
went unicyclin with deano and his family
pooh was funny
deano can ride round trees now
***
came back too late little one
it's seven
***
no trip to look at art
not even with pretty goth chick
***
"yur not goin to pursue that"
not at this stage no
"mika said last night ya looked like a picture postcard"
hmmm
still on th pictures
"yoga sat with a big drum"
"and very relaxed"
yeah ok
///
"magic school"
***
"charmed is back on tele"
***
pooh's just broken up with a boy
pretty goth girl has just broken up with a boy
jane' still got a kid livin in her bedroom
and morticia is eighty k's away
"ok"
***
"pretty goth girl"
another violent femme
"why does she wear ripped jeans ?"
ok
she not a goth now anyway
"why ?"
***
too pretty
***
patience mate
***
"if she wants you"
"you;re ****ed"
dont remind me
'she'll call on th connection"
doesnt mean i have to run after it
"go after th witches now"
"reality aint like that"
"th witches hunt ya down"
***
"kuta lady didnt say much"
not sure i know what she was talkin about
***
"elders and magic school"
***
"you were a black man last night in th street"
***
came to sing
not to
do anything else
***
"and ya did have someone touch you"
"that chick ya put on th unicycle"
***
sweetheart
girls are far more devious than you
just go about yur business
***
"ok wiz"
"music on"
***
nrirvana
"territorial pissings"
***
just gotta mark my territory
jump out of th car
and piss on a bush
***
"i know one ya can piss on"
***
"who owns th newsagent in that little town ?"
***
dont change th subject
***
"sorry, thinkin on several things"
***
****tishead
"all mine"
***
it was nice to
take th kids home
give em a fish and chip feed
beer and a ciggie with nice lady
and then
choof
out of there
"ok"
***
"no kids"
***
preferred
***
"jennifer walked in her sisters door yesterday"
"lookin like a girl"
"barbie girl nearly fell over"
***
"well that cuts out all but pretty goth chick"
girl
"she's an adult"
"We missed her 21st"
didnt ask
and it didnt come up
"she was gunna ring"
"took our number from kuta lady"
***
robin ford
"prison of love"
***
we dont have hers
***
let her suggest it babe
***
"a little patience yur sayin"
when she stops talkin about him
***
**** it's hot
we saw lots of
pale white skin today
in th redcliffe lagoon
a few who havent seen much of th sun
and th odd redhead
***
i was thinkin of maybe goin
th car parked up at th city
and mika
was
makin noises
comin next week paulie ?
not too sure about that
and at th time
i was havin trouble wih gettin too straight
all these ppl spillin out of nightclubs
and
stoppin front of us
laurie anderson
"Sharkies night"
i rode back to th car
had two bourbons
and a couple cones
and sang for another couple of hours
i enjoy it
no time sense
just flyin
and they rarely tell me what to sing
used to happen but
not any more
***
do re mi
"track no15"
***
"what happened to th fro ?"
"looks shorter"
curls tightened up
salt water
***
i dig that drum mika
me and a thousand others
***
mika is a big
samoan guy
and nice
***
the kinks
"Days
***
thank you for th music
***
"he's australian"
***
was a nice mix mika
***
"three black boys groovin"
***
i had more voice
it's been well rested
found all those
top girlie notes i went for
and um
let go there for a bit
the verve
"space and time"
sometimes seeing
th ppl who ar elooking at me
i'm singin in th street
and im loud
some are just blasted
sittin out
and
tryin to come down a bit
went a lot more
eyes closed
here for th music
not to look at you
miss a bit i guess
which is good
pretty tranny
on th seat opposite
every time i open my eyes
she's lookin at me
i got a amplified guitar
to th right of me
and a big drum
to th left
and im cross legged
in front of th amp
if i sing loud enough
it comes through th guitar
and i get a little foldback
sat in th alcove and sang for a bit
to get some echo
but then i was too far from th action
couldnt slide to
rappin with th drum
and change to rhythm
a particularly nice set of changes
come out of a
wander with th flamenco guitar
pickin a melody behind it
with my voice
and slidin to
rhythm
scatting with th drum
and still in harmony
flying
<<< smile >>>
***
do re mi
"big accident"
***
whoo
that was a nice change
we gotta try that one again
give it to me again brother
it's background
but
we dont got a foreground singer
<<< smile >>>
some ppl get
really anxious
wanna hear their song
you sing it
like karioke
i'll put backing on it
you'll sound good
carry notes you didnt get
and make em sound
fat
while
still
droppin back to th melody
and th rhythm
fillin holes in th music
what we're all doin
some dont get it
others try
hard to sing out loud
in front of others isn;t it ?
we'll give ya a sense of th song
but it's only an interpretation
we're not that kind of artists
***
pj harvey
"teclo"
***
i find
most ppl
play their own arrangements of songs
and been playin it that way so long
ya go to sing a popular song
with someone else playin accompaniment
to their own arrangement
hang on
***
way i figure it
is
are th ppl dancing ?
if some come and dance
we're doin somethin right
and th golden rule
makin music is
if they arent complainin
it's ok
***
i saw ppl dancing
i aint complaining either
it's not a bad lifestyle
***
i wont be able to take ya past mika next week
when ya got no kids
without stoppin for a sing
wish you had better hearing
cant even hear
th voice of th distant thunder
you like music
and ya can hear enough
but umm
like th ppl who cant hear th high
soft bits i stick in
a note i cant
project
but can carry
yur missing something
mika can hear it
he's playin to it
i have to stick those quiet bits in
sometimes you cant hear em
lost in th dirge
city high
"caramel"
i try to keep a balance
in th flight
you arent hearin th
full flight
sorry
carryin some high note
singin to th top e
on th guitar
carryin
something from this part of th song
to that part of th song
and here come
A
again
bang on
a beautful tie in
and a continuation of th theme i just carried
and then wander into th bridge
really loose
slide to scattin with th drum
and mika kicks off
mad guitar soloing
ah man
gotta play with that
i
've heard a bit
i have t reply to
and sing it back
to th guitar
what you telling me girl ?
and she sings off on a tangent
takin flight with th
beautiful little riff
that just erupted
nickelback
"leader of men"
fini****ng up spent
and run out of ideas
and
fingers
or
voice
or
whatever th instrument
flogged
sore voice box today
<<< Smile >>>
doesnt it feel good
***
"sore finger nails"
nails on th right hand are for th guitar
"but i use it on th drums"
"only drum right handed"
have to live with it
part of th sound anyway
dont get any copmplaints drummin one handed
dont need two
i make plenty noise
***
sore thighs
***
more drugs over here
..
..
..
nirvana
"School"
aaaaahhhh
"i'll make ya a bet"
ok
"twenty buck pretty goth girl"
"gets her photo of you"
"with a scarf and flying goggles on th unicycle"
"in winter"
ummm
"**** ya"
***
"you two get on too well"
***
placebo
"running up that hill"
***
"feel like it"
***
what i dont like is
**** that just grab my wheel and
change th seat adjustment without askin
lot of things i'll wear
but one i wont
and almost a punchable offense
ask
***
guy who's ridden one of my wheels before
who can ride
bunny hops anyway
jumped on showed em how it was done
i've had my ride
i got nuthin to prove
sideways thru th crowd
if ya didnt see it
stiff ****
had a wild slalom fly thru th valley crowd
with about four bourbons inside
and multiple cones
happy now pretty goth girl ?
it's all downhill
and im pu****n it
tyres down to about sixteen lb
and it's whoo****n
major slides
was aggressive crowd surfin last night
wanted to go for a sing and
just out to warm up th body
and make th nuts comfortably numb
came past this nightclub door
and
two pretty girls levitating
scared ****less
***
pink floyd
"money"
***
wore th shark fin for th most part
shark's still alive
dont think th shark thrasher
unicycle i bought mark
is gunna threaten me too soon
deano's gunna flog me
jumpin into bowls already
he's bent that new crank already
84 kilo man
it's your weight
im only like 65
yur litle sister will take us thru th posts
small size and weight
and smaller wheel
you'll see
yur mum wants to try it
got a big bruise last time
it;s a great fitness workout
every muscle in th body
im 42
havent gone a year since th last time i got offered stripping
and i drink
and i smoke
and i smoke drugs
<<< Smile >>>
it's all good
***
yur too ****in heavy
to do six inch bunny hops
on a 36 spoke wheel
didnt they ask how ya bent it ?
***
i had two spare cranks in th boot
but both th wrong size
we both rode thru th garden
kuta smile
just dont expect
a unicycle to stray off th path
gets em every time
***
scream of
"a unicycle"
in th crowd
and heads turn
and man
i aint goin slow
i aint yelling
but i am peeling thru th crowd
and a big whoofie slide
to stop
at th water
***
the kinks
(wish i could fly like) superman
***
buy a unicycle
**** yur dumb
***
think left
go left
not real hard
***
oops
yeah
sorry about that lady
***
she doesnt know which way to go
and th cops dont care
did yell at me to get off th road
didnt stop or anything
two am
im on th wrong side of th road
no ****in lights
a shark fin on top of my bicycle hat
skinned wizard hat lining
over th shark fin
and a half a dozen ppl laughin at th cop
they dont say much
do pretty much as i pls
my town
this bit of road is mine
th cabbies have given up
most dont even beep now
if i claim th road
i get bored in th crowd
play with my mates in th cabs
scarin their passengers
playin slaloms in th cars at th lights
just ridin off a gutter
here there and everywhere
***
pissed and stoned
***
<<< smile >>>
***
im allowed to play in town too
even if i am a freak
th ppl are nice to me
***
ernie watts
"highway blues"
***
i was talkin to th drug dealer
who cleaned up in january
cause everyone else took a holiday
**** he was happy
***
i know a few
***
he always looks after me
either drugs or alcohol
if he spots me
in th crowd
a perfect circle
"the package"
he did drop a bundle
on a
legitimate business deal
that's bad karma for ya dude
**** yur funny
gotta be careful if im dressed to go inside a club
some of these guys just
pour drinks down my throat nonstop
th ripped jeans keep me out
when they;re this dirty
we should have fun pooh
if brookie's in town
or michael
or a few who shall remain nameless
we're in for an interesting time next weekend
***
it's th most scary thing
singing to ppl
frightens th **** out of me
so bad
i have to do it
***
mika shares a drink with me
if we have a good bond
there's usually somethin we're sharin
besides th music
***
mika
it's likely to be
lemonade
or coke
or a durrie
i gotta have somethin
to calm th nerves
i can sing straight
just dont like it
got real straight last night
had to go to th car
far away as it is
th singin's too good
and enough have left
a close park
enjoy th rest of th night paulie
i bought ya eight bourbons
ya got one left
in th fridge
enjoy
***
massive attack
"protection"
***
this song in th ears
and flying
dancing
well out of it
s**** path
thru th
ppl
walkin from club to club
and well out of it
funny things in th street everywhere ya look
unicycle
cuts thru
right of this four group
left of th two pretty girls
no
it;s gunna b left ladies
you better move
comin thru
havent said a word
or a sound
im comin anyway
and im experienced
i know what you can do
they get out of th way
right of th seven
on th edge
gutter here
and
cabbie smilin at me
seven more cutbacks later
run th red light and
charge th crowd milling outside th door
enough are lookin this way
and yellin
a
gap opens
miraculously
and i
oooze thru at speed
and round th post
left of th sign
round th right of th next post
left of those girls
they didnt see me comin
<<< smile >>>
and past th next nighclub
door
two chicks walkin out th door
and
prop
flatout unicycle
well over running pace
zippin thru
in th crowd
and not stopping for anything
chick was sittin in th window
nearly fell out
funny as
some guys up there
on th third floor
screamin
so ya like this then ?
<<< Smiel >>>
sorry
<<< drug ****ed smile >>>
***
he wont run over you but
keep yur wits about you
appears from nowhere
a shark fin above th crowd
he's been holdin it down
dont stand inside his slalom course in th valley mall
liable to get run over
***
love that set of trees man
***
ppl freak
***
donna summer
"i feel love"
***
when im sitting singin
th cops dont walk up and hassle me
about what stunts i pulled
two streets over
and half an hour before
our police chases are behind us
i get too many laughs
when they pursue th unicycle
with a police bike or car and a siren
and they're lazy ****ers
***
ya dont have to be a madman
but it helps
***
i dont need to yell out
get out of th ****ing road
there's enough squeels
and giggles and laughin and **** goin on
besides th squeels of protest
from th poor tortured
unicycle tyre
if yur not on th edge
get out of th ****ing road
im in originals
one percenter unicyclist
and proud of it
***
**** ya's
..
..
..
th one percenter unicyclist
***
p.p.s.
"mik"
"minka"
"michael"
"michael"
"mika"
